Amma, a personal experience

That was the year my mother died.




I was sitting alone, flipping through TV channels and feeling miserable.

All of a sudden, something caught my attention. It must have been Travel or a similar channel: a short, plump, very dark Indian woman was hugging someone. And what a hug that was! The sheer energy of it rendered me breathless, the embrace flowed out of the TV screen - that had suddenly become a doorway into another reality - and wafted into my living room, together with a wonderful aroma of sandalwood and roses. The room filled up with rose coloured light, and bliss. I felt as if it was I who was being embraced by that Mother ... because, I was sure, that's who she was. Mother. In that hug was the essence of my own mother, every mother that has ever lived on this Earth and loved her children, and the Universe itself, in the form of Mother Goddess. All the pain and suffering was simply knocked out of my being and for the first time in days, I felt that life, after all, has hope in it. The sun had come out.





Later, I found out that the woman was Amma, Mother Amma, Ammachi or Mata Amritanandamayi, a living saint from Kerala, India. She is also considered to be the embodiment of Mother Divine. And she was coming to Helsinki very soon! As Helsinki is very near to Tallinn - just across the Gulf of Finland, a couple of hours by boat - I simply had to go!





The darshan was to take place in a sports hall by the sea and I had to take a tram to get there. I was not exactly sure where it was so I stopped for a moment and looked around. And then I saw it. Some blocks away, to the direction of the sea, I could see a strange shimmering rose coloured cloud hanging above the houses. I later realised that it must have been energy. But it was so intense that it could be seen by the naked eye. So I had my directions!





The darshan hall was full of people but, considering how many were there, the atmosphere was surprisingly peaceful and relaxed. I looked around, and felt the same aroma of sandalwood and roses, together with a shimmering rose-coloured glow that hung in the air. Indian music was playing, people were strolling around and looking at the stalls. Everyone seemed to be in a very good mood. Sort of pleasant, not in an ecstatic, but a good-humoured way. Someone gave me a piece of paper with a number - that was for my hugging queue, for later.





Then Amma came in, followed by her entourage. She just walked through the crowd, a nod here, a short hug there, and smiles, warm smiles. The faces of people lit up but there were no overflowing outbursts of devotion. Everyone was just so happy that Mother had come. Come to think of it, it did feel like greeting Mother who had come home after a trip.





People were asked to sit down and a tall handsome Indian guy with a flowing beard and dark Jesus hair led the meditation. His voice was sonorous and sweet ... incredible! I still remember that meditation and the bliss that it brought: it was like sinking into a warm water bed and floating, floating, floating off to divine sleep.





Then the hugging began. Amma was sitting on a chair that was up on a dais. People were queuing and in a short while, you reached the dais. And there she was: in a white cotton sari, a short dumpy woman, about 50 or so, with the kindest roundest most kissable face you can imagine. Dark eyes flashing with fun and love, and compassion beyond human comprehension. And she smelled of sandalwood and roses!







The hug itself ... that was no dainty affair. It was strong, determined and energetic! Two sonorous *mwahhh's* were planted on my cheeks, and she whispered something in my ear, which, I later realised was her mantra: Ma, Ma, Ma! She pressed some sweets into my hand and that was it. But I assure you ... it was enough to last for a lifetime.







All those who had been hugged were allowed to remain sitting in the darshan area and compose themselves. So I had the chance to witness the process for quite a while. She was exactly the same for everyone, not a moment of decreased concentration, she just kept on giving, giving and giving. It was like a huge prayer wheel in motion! And it went on for hours and hours ... she never stops until the very last person who wants to be hugged, has been hugged. Never mind if it takes all night!







Afterwards, as I was strolling about and looking at the stalls, still blown away by the hug, I saw that they were selling items that had been blessed by Amma. No way, I thought, I'll be able to afford any of those. And as I though that, I saw a small hand mala of tiny Rudraksha beads. I wanted it but was sure that must be the most expensive item yet! Just in case, I asked about the price and ... it was cheap!





So, not believing my luck, I got the chain, and as I was handing over the money, I saw that something reddish had stained my palm. I tried to rub it off but couldn't. It looked like I had accidentally put my hand into some blackberry jam and it had flown into the lines of my hand. I tried to lick it off ... still no effect. Then I realised. It was not *on* my hand ... it was *in* it. The life line of my right hand and the line next to it had turned dark purple. Just the lines, nothing else.





So, I gathered, Amma had changed something in my future that day: and for the best, of that I'm sure. If nothing else, after that hug, my sorrow for my own mother's passing had been healed and transformed into something else.



A direct experience of the Universe in its Mother mode. Mother ... is all around.

PS: There was a concert afterwards, where Amma sang long into the night together with her band. What's her voice like? Bonnie Tyler with an extra twist. Definitely very musical, huge voice but with a lusty, raspy overtone. She sounds full of life, passionate, drunken with love for ... everything, every person, and above all - YOU!